Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Day 7: A Long Weekend

Today's Weight
183.4 lb

Well, considering I didn't restrict that much this weekend, I'm doing ok weight wise. I had a dinner with friends out in the city on Friday and I had some drinks. Thai food earlier that day for lunch made me eat a lighter dinner (as did my budget). Saturday I hiked early with the boy and hit the gym. Sunday though, we hit the Cleveland Cascade in Oakland and did stair work. Let me tell you, my knees did not like me. I worry when things like this happened but it could be more internal issues thanks to the car accident. I've never had knee issues that stemmed from going up or down stairs. I'm hoping it's just me being 30 pounds overweight and out of shape. Today it doesn't hurt as bad but it kept me from doing anything wild on Monday, which was Labor Day.

I spent most of Monday doing manual labor, ironically enough. Walking to and from the grocery store instead of driving and hitting up home depot. My task was to remove a ceramic soap dish that broke in the shower, which turned into me destroying 5 other tiles around said dish in the process. Well, now I know how to tile a damn shower.

Before embarking on the DIY project from hell I went to Target to pick up some bigger work out clothes and a skirt for work. I know I can't hide in stretch pants forever and had refused to dress for the body I'm in, instead always holding out for the body I had or want. It totally took the wind out of my sails so to speak. The utter horror I experienced in the dressing room really put a damper on my day. If I could bottle up the self-hatred I felt in that dressing room, well, it would have to be a really big bottle.

I remember last year at this time I was trying on size 8's and playfully boasting online (ok, bragging) that I was a full 3 sizes smaller than the year before. Well, here I am again, a size 14 and really hating the process ALL OVER AGAIN. I hated what I saw and it really hit home what I needed to do and how I needed to stay motivated. It just seems so daunting right now. Hoping my body sticks with me and doesn't crap out on me in some way again.

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