Thursday, June 15, 2017

It's been a while

I haven't signed into this blog in over a year. I think for a while I was so caught up in what other people were doing, what they were saying, how their journey was going etc. that I basically devoted all my energy into feeding into that desire --of seeing life through someone else's eyes-- instead of my own. I need to work things out in my head.

It's been a crazy few years. I'm approaching the big 4-0 and am finding it hard to come to terms with that. I feel the restrictions my body is putting on me now. And I don't like it. But I persist. I run with chafed thighs or lady parts, I squat with sore knees and do lateral raises with a shoulder housing tendinitis. I should get a tattoo of Motrin on my ass.

I have my heroes like Erin Brown, Nia Shanks, Molly Galbraith and Amber Rogers to keep me going for inspiration, resources and motivation. I'm thankful during my time avoiding my own voice I found these phenomenal women who really took up space in this world and shared their great perspectives. It's like a voice of reason in a sea of Instabootygrams and cleanses and juices and kitten mitten (intermittent) fasting.

I self-sabotage a lot. I know I should be doing more cardio. I know I need to curb my wine drinking and take my vitamins. Do I? No. I know better but I also want to defy the expectations of what "I'm supposed to do" at this age. It's not very smart, I'll admit.

We'll see if writing out my thoughts helps me get a clearer picture in the gym. I need my mojo back.

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