Lucky Loses It

I was out clothes shopping the other day when I had an experience and reaction that surprised me. I was in a store looking for an item that I had tried on at another location but just needed a different color. It was a high-waisted jegging that fit me like a glove and finally didn't make my calves hulk out or roll down my stomach because the rise was too low. The pair was sized like regular jeans: zipper, button, and all. Finally, an acceptable pair outside of yoga pants I could wear! Normally I don't venture into trendy shops or stores that skew younger, but this one makes jeans just how I like and need 'em. As it was, I was already a little self conscious walking in there sans makeup, in a baseball hat and older than most of the shoppers and retail employees there. Le sigh. I found what I was looking for but not before an employee found me. I was asking to check out but fell prey to the "buy one get one 50% off" tactic. I figured I'd go for it, since I

Starting off a new year with the same point of view. I always aim to write more, to track more, to do more, but in the end it's the same old me, taking way too many depression naps , keeping a stash of pizza rolls in the freezer and wavering between extreme productivity and self-doubt. The end of 2017 was a doozy. I lost my dog in September suddenly to what we think was a brain tumor and I lost my job in December. Technically I'm still working, but my job is officially over on 2/15. However, once operations stopped, so did my daily duties. I kind of spent October in a haze, not really sure what to do, but just going through the motions of losing a pet and a furry shoulder to rest upon on a daily basis. It's true what they say, silence is deafening. Not hearing his paws on the wooden floor, his snores from across the room or the jangle of his collar really hit me hard. I was working from home a lot at the time, so I had plenty of opportunities to stare into the distance