Lucky Loses It

I'm reaching the point where I can finally start to see some progress. It's strange, when others notice it too. I've been spending this month oddly proud and somewhat embarrassed. I was chosen by my health coach and gym to be their "member of the month". I wanted to make sure my blurb talked about persistence and really overcoming obstacles. I feel like that's all I've had. My write up mentions a few things I can now do (push ups, tricep dips), things I've done (lost some weight, gained some muscle) and some challenges I've had (car accident, surgeries etc). I will admit, it's a bit odd to see my picture in various corners of the gym. Thank god no one has approached me about it -- only my coworkers who also go to the gym there. My shoulder and arm are still bothering me so I've been back to running and squatting. I've tried to pick up the dead lifts again too, as long as my back plays along nicely. I'm still mad at my...

Things are just moving along in my world. I've still been consistent with my workouts and true to my promise of wearing loud(er) pants to the gym. My latest obsession are these wonderful orange ass spirals. (They aren't on the seller's website currently so I can't link to them - sorry! )  I call them my circus pants. You really can't miss me when I wear them. I am not hiding in the gym anymore! They are particularly fun on leg day, that I will tell you. I've been at a little plateau lately. I've been too lenient with myself and while I can feel myself getting stronger, my pants are not any looser. I'm standing in my own way, really. I enjoy my wine, I eat some carbs and have a life, so this process is taking a really long time, but it's all because of decisions I have consciously made.  That being said, cardio has been upped to 4 mile runs when I do them and I'm trying to incorporate more intervals in my workouts. My enemy the burpee is...

Today I met with one of my "health coaches" to check in at the gym. This is just someone that is a part of my cheerleading team, like the bf, or my trainer in this journey to get back to a place where I am happy. I got weighed and lost a few more pounds since our last weigh in. This is a huge victory considering I've been drinking my normal amount, the holidays came and went and I had my own little treats and indulgences here and there. I also felt like a salt lick a few days here and there, but a small loss is a big win for me. Per usual, I can't be 100% happy. I don't trust it. I don't trust it's working, even though I am seeing results. My scale at home does not match the scale at the gym. When I'm naked and standing on it in the morning, it is not the same as the number in the gym. It's heavier by at least 1.5lbs. Is this some mean way the universe is playing with me? I started to get emotional in that little cramped room on the second fl...

I woke up 2 pounds lighter today but I'm not going to get too excited. That is the equivalent of a lot of water, a ton of wine or maybe a giant bowel movement. I could be up 3 tomorrow, who knows. It was nice to see the scale actually move though, but I'm not going crazy until at least I'm out of the 180's. I realized today that even though I plan meticulously and dabble in a bunch of programs (both eating and workout related), I've never really followed one to the T. Back in the day, I tried Atkins and South Beach. And while I was 10 years younger and 20 pounds lighter, it worked for me then, but it won't work for me now. It also wasn't sustainable. A few years ago I had joined Weight Watchers. Again, while it worked for some friends famously, it did not work for me. I already ate healthily and exercised a lot and the program just didn't seem to boost me past any plateau I had hit. It was also a little too easy for me to have things just because ...

Well, I made it to Friday. I almost didn't work out today since the BF crawled back into bed post alarm and decided he was not. Given the fact I was already awake and two other alarms kept going off, I took it as a cue to get my ass out of bed and go to the gym anyway. I may try and pull a double if I can. I ran for 35 minutes on the treadmill, followed by some leg raises (3x10) and tricep dips (2x5). I then hit the mat and did 4 variations of push ups. Ugh. 10 at wide stance, 10 at narrow stance, 10 pyramid push ups and a very painful 8 reps in pike position . Those are the devil. While I was headed to the treadmill, I saw a woman I see mostly every day doing her thing, walking uphill. She does this for about 30-40 minutes each day, or sometimes hops on the elliptical next to me. What's different about her is that she is obviously going through or underwent some sort of treatment (my guess is chemo therapy). At first, her stature startled me. She appeared weak and frail, ...