Lucky Loses It

I'm reaching the point where I can finally start to see some progress. It's strange, when others notice it too. I've been spending this month oddly proud and somewhat embarrassed. I was chosen by my health coach and gym to be their "member of the month". I wanted to make sure my blurb talked about persistence and really overcoming obstacles. I feel like that's all I've had. My write up mentions a few things I can now do (push ups, tricep dips), things I've done (lost some weight, gained some muscle) and some challenges I've had (car accident, surgeries etc). I will admit, it's a bit odd to see my picture in various corners of the gym. Thank god no one has approached me about it -- only my coworkers who also go to the gym there. My shoulder and arm are still bothering me so I've been back to running and squatting. I've tried to pick up the dead lifts again too, as long as my back plays along nicely. I'm still mad at my...

Well, well, well. I'm finally free and clear. The holidays are over. I seriously can't stand the time from November 1 to December 31st. The pressure, the expectations, the comparisons, the time off or lack there of, the temptations, the money being spent etc...It's just such a drain on me. I'm spent. I don't travel during the holidays and my family phone calls home require a heavy dose of patience or several glasses of wine prior to dialing and I'm just...over it all. New Year's Eve was no exception. When I phoned home and all 3 members of my immediate family were soused beyond belief, I was annoyed and they were incredibly tiresome to talk with. It just cemented my choice to stay in, not drink heavily myself and have a quiet evening. It made me a bit sad too, but that's another post for another time. On the upside, I managed to come out of the holiday blur 8 pounds lighter. This in itself is a major victory. There would have more pounds shed, but ...

Banner day, today. First I get told by dermatologist that losing weight would help with a skin condition (gee, thanks) and then I got turned down for a job I had gone through two phone interviews with. Coupled with not being able to work out this morning, forgetting my gym socks for tonight and other work woes, Monday royally fits the stereotype of suckage today. This weekend I rallied though and did my first 5k in a long time. I survived the 3.1 miles and did it in about 36 minutes. Not bad, not great. I got home and iced and rested and took a bunch of ibuprofen. I had done some mild weight lifting in the morning, so jazzing myself up for a 6pm run through the streets of Oakland was not on my list of favorite things, but it was fun. I'm glad I did it though. I ran it alone and made a new friend via Twitter. I enjoyed seeing all the other women run, in costume or not and just the vibe of being downtown on a Saturday night and not going to a bar, but sweating my ass off, pluggin...

Some days, you throw the shoes you wore to work in the trash by your desk because they are falling apart. Some days, you kneel in front of an open fridge after work and eat ham straight from the deli package in front of your dog. Some days, you rush home and go to the liquor store to buy wine because you've run out and dammit, now is not the time to be sober.  Last week I had all of those days and needless to say, I was thrilled the weekend came. I saw my physical therapist on Thursday to make sure my back was okay. It's been hurting me for the past week or so and I didn't want it to affect my workout routine. Even with a few days off, I managed to have a personal best on my squat on Saturday. 100 pounds! I also have been maintaining my bench press at a steady 105lbs so I'm not losing muscle. The only thing that sucks is that I haven't lost any fat either. I've been in that slump again. It started last week and I can't get the funk out. I'm falling ...

Crazy to believe I started this new blog one year ago today. I thought I would see myself a bad ass lifting machine by now, but that's not how life works, is it? I remember those first days in the gym after a 3 month hiatus due to the car accident and lots of chiropractic visits. I had just  literally already come off a month long hiatus prior due to hernia surgery before then, so it really did feel like starting from scratch. The days of just walking on the treadmill. The dread of going to the gym after work and hoping I didn't re-injure myself...I remember the hesitation and the feeling of being let down when I couldn't run or walk uphill due to back pain. I still have issues, but the more I remain active the more hopeful I am they will resolve themselves with time. I remember the day I took this picture. It was early September 2013. I had gone to the gym after work and really wanted to push past 30 minutes. I also bought this purple short sleeve shirt from H&M ...

I have to stray away from my normal posting today. The world lost a very important, loving being yesterday. The death of Robin Williams seems to have struck a chord with many individuals. Chances are, someone you know, at some point in their lives was influenced by him, was made to laugh by him, or can remember being captivated by a performance of his. He fought demons that ran deep, a true Pagliacci. A comedian to the rest of us, but somewhere, deep inside this sad clown was always harboring an intensity, hiding an insecurity or an overwhelming feeling that he could not manage. Depression is never easy. Suicide is never the answer. A permanent solution to a seemingly temporary problem that just so happens to swallow you whole is not the solution. I don't agree with the assumption that suicide is selfish. Far from it. Someone in that state never thinks very highly of themselves. Someone in that state thinks the world is a better place without them, a burden of their being is li...