Lucky Loses It

I'm reaching the point where I can finally start to see some progress. It's strange, when others notice it too. I've been spending this month oddly proud and somewhat embarrassed. I was chosen by my health coach and gym to be their "member of the month". I wanted to make sure my blurb talked about persistence and really overcoming obstacles. I feel like that's all I've had. My write up mentions a few things I can now do (push ups, tricep dips), things I've done (lost some weight, gained some muscle) and some challenges I've had (car accident, surgeries etc). I will admit, it's a bit odd to see my picture in various corners of the gym. Thank god no one has approached me about it -- only my coworkers who also go to the gym there. My shoulder and arm are still bothering me so I've been back to running and squatting. I've tried to pick up the dead lifts again too, as long as my back plays along nicely. I'm still mad at my...

Things are just moving along in my world. I've still been consistent with my workouts and true to my promise of wearing loud(er) pants to the gym. My latest obsession are these wonderful orange ass spirals. (They aren't on the seller's website currently so I can't link to them - sorry! )  I call them my circus pants. You really can't miss me when I wear them. I am not hiding in the gym anymore! They are particularly fun on leg day, that I will tell you. I've been at a little plateau lately. I've been too lenient with myself and while I can feel myself getting stronger, my pants are not any looser. I'm standing in my own way, really. I enjoy my wine, I eat some carbs and have a life, so this process is taking a really long time, but it's all because of decisions I have consciously made.  That being said, cardio has been upped to 4 mile runs when I do them and I'm trying to incorporate more intervals in my workouts. My enemy the burpee is...

It's been about 8 years since I have been able to run 1 mile in under 10 minutes. I didn't wake up thinking this was the day or that I'd even try. I just knew it was leg day, and I wanted to run 1 mile as my warm up.  Maybe it was the pre-workout beverage I drank giving me the extra initiative, but I just got on that treadmill, walked one minute and started running. I kept cranking up my speed every few minutes and by the last 3, I was running 7 mph.  The last time I even attempted this was 2006 I believe, when I decided to train for a half marathon. Of course I was 8 years younger and a few surgeries shy, but the fact that I could complete it this morning gave me a little glimmer of hope of the year to come.  Afterwards, I was glad to see the squat rack free. I managed to get in about 6 rounds of 6-8 reps starting with 2 rounds of just the bar at 10 reps. It went 45-65-85. I'm still taking it easy and not going full weight (95lb or above). I headed over to the f...

Well, 2015 is in full effect and I'm back on the wagon. Fun time is over , as said best by Red Foreman. Mmm poke. I let myself have a week off for vacation. No tracking, highly caloric booze intake, carbs were eaten, long walks were had and though I indulged, I also made smart choices throughout my fun times. Even though I did partake in some loco moco in Hawaii, I also enjoyed a fantastic tuna poke and avocado salad as well for dinner one night. I'm sure it doesn't make up for the amount of Mai Tais I had every day starting around 2pm. While they were delicious, I could totally tell the sugar and juice intake were going to be the death of me. That, and when you eat out at a restaurant, food is so much saltier than when made at home. I felt like a giant salt lick a couple of times, but it was worth it.  While it was a beach vacation, I didn't bust out into my usual hives thinking about getting into a bathing suit like I usually do. I actually wore a two-...

Today I met with one of my "health coaches" to check in at the gym. This is just someone that is a part of my cheerleading team, like the bf, or my trainer in this journey to get back to a place where I am happy. I got weighed and lost a few more pounds since our last weigh in. This is a huge victory considering I've been drinking my normal amount, the holidays came and went and I had my own little treats and indulgences here and there. I also felt like a salt lick a few days here and there, but a small loss is a big win for me. Per usual, I can't be 100% happy. I don't trust it. I don't trust it's working, even though I am seeing results. My scale at home does not match the scale at the gym. When I'm naked and standing on it in the morning, it is not the same as the number in the gym. It's heavier by at least 1.5lbs. Is this some mean way the universe is playing with me? I started to get emotional in that little cramped room on the second fl...

I woke up 2 pounds lighter today but I'm not going to get too excited. That is the equivalent of a lot of water, a ton of wine or maybe a giant bowel movement. I could be up 3 tomorrow, who knows. It was nice to see the scale actually move though, but I'm not going crazy until at least I'm out of the 180's. I realized today that even though I plan meticulously and dabble in a bunch of programs (both eating and workout related), I've never really followed one to the T. Back in the day, I tried Atkins and South Beach. And while I was 10 years younger and 20 pounds lighter, it worked for me then, but it won't work for me now. It also wasn't sustainable. A few years ago I had joined Weight Watchers. Again, while it worked for some friends famously, it did not work for me. I already ate healthily and exercised a lot and the program just didn't seem to boost me past any plateau I had hit. It was also a little too easy for me to have things just because ...

I really feel like I need to get into another program or start meeting with a trainer. There are days when I am strictly cardio, there are days when I work on particular body parts and there are days where I haphazardly go into the gym and do whatever I think won't make me hurt. Today was a mix of the later two. I'm giving my legs and back a rest today and went with upper body training. I decided to focus mainly on chest and triceps with a little shoulder work. I have also made a goal for myself to do 36 push ups a day every day for the month of October. That's just 3 sets of 12, or one day, I can do more than the 20 in a row I can do now. I just have to remember to NOT end my routine with the push ups like I did today, or else I literally feel like I am pushing the world away from me. Collapse was inevitable. It was a welcome surprise to see the weight area so empty on a Wednesday morning. I'm guessing the throes of men or sports fans who watched the wild card game...

Some days, you throw the shoes you wore to work in the trash by your desk because they are falling apart. Some days, you kneel in front of an open fridge after work and eat ham straight from the deli package in front of your dog. Some days, you rush home and go to the liquor store to buy wine because you've run out and dammit, now is not the time to be sober.  Last week I had all of those days and needless to say, I was thrilled the weekend came. I saw my physical therapist on Thursday to make sure my back was okay. It's been hurting me for the past week or so and I didn't want it to affect my workout routine. Even with a few days off, I managed to have a personal best on my squat on Saturday. 100 pounds! I also have been maintaining my bench press at a steady 105lbs so I'm not losing muscle. The only thing that sucks is that I haven't lost any fat either. I've been in that slump again. It started last week and I can't get the funk out. I'm falling ...

Crazy to believe I started this new blog one year ago today. I thought I would see myself a bad ass lifting machine by now, but that's not how life works, is it? I remember those first days in the gym after a 3 month hiatus due to the car accident and lots of chiropractic visits. I had just  literally already come off a month long hiatus prior due to hernia surgery before then, so it really did feel like starting from scratch. The days of just walking on the treadmill. The dread of going to the gym after work and hoping I didn't re-injure myself...I remember the hesitation and the feeling of being let down when I couldn't run or walk uphill due to back pain. I still have issues, but the more I remain active the more hopeful I am they will resolve themselves with time. I remember the day I took this picture. It was early September 2013. I had gone to the gym after work and really wanted to push past 30 minutes. I also bought this purple short sleeve shirt from H&M ...

This week has seriously been the longest.week.ever. I am excited to do NOTHING this weekend. All I plan to accomplish is the gym, a few naps, grocery shopping and house cleaning. After two crazy weekends in a row, mama needs some down time. The hermit in me cries out. I ended up taking a full rest day yesterday. Who am I kidding to think I'll actually make it to the gym during lunch or after work sometimes? My hatred of a packed gym and hunger override the desire to go. It happens. If you're starving and sore, chances are your body will thank you for not going to work out. After work we've been having lots of protests downtown so my natural instinct is to get the hell out of here as soon as possible to avoid any public transit delays. Once I get home, it's all snuggles with my dog, dishes and getting dinner ready. I just can't motivate hard enough (yet) if I don't work out in the morning. I still can't shake this constant exhaustion. Today was should...

My lovely veggie plate. That was my weekend. Apparently it's taken me 3 days to recuperate! I got to see one of my very best friends get married last Saturday and had a wonderful vegetarian reception to enjoy as well afterwards. I made sure to partake in everything and not feel any guilt! I took Sunday as a rest day and met up with some friends for a bit before doing a quick essentials only grocery run. I didn't do a whole lot of meal prep outside of boiling some eggs and making 3 lunches with brown rice/ground turkey with taco seasoning. I am falling in love with grilled scallions though...but I digress. Monday was back at the gym for 3 miles on the treadmill but my lower back is acting up again so it was a slow 3 miles. Tuesday was squats, chest and tricep day. I finally made my way to the big girl squat rack at my Monday-Friday gym near work. It's usually overrun with guys who take way too long or the rare girl who hogs it for squats and lunges. Tuesday that girl...

Part of my 42g protein breakfast on Wednesday I'm really trying this moderation thing. After working out for many consecutive days the past two weeks, the end result is not heaps of energy and a looser waistband. It is exhaustion. It is hunger. It is craving naps and carbs. At least for me.  The way the schedule works in my house is that Thursdays are rest days. The BF and I skip the gym in the morning but I usually end up going at night anyway. I won't do that this week. I'll be back on the horse for Fri-Wed again, and since my legs (quads, thanks front squat) are hurting today, I'm going to actually rest.  It feels "undeserved", since I didn't work out Fri-Sun of last week, but I need to change my mindset. Exercise is something I do because I enjoy it. It is not a means to an end. The journey never ends. I won't wake up six  months now and upon seeing pure satisfaction in the mirror one morning (a girl can wish), simply stop all that I...

Impressive stats for the morning so far: My breakfast had 42 grams of protein in it and I think I squatted my ass off during my work out. For some reason the dog woke us up around 3 am this morning and I could not for the life of me get back to sleep. I keep reading memories and clips and social media messages of Robin Williams to pass the time. I laid awake dreading the morning sun and the soon to be slog of getting my ass to the gym. I only had about 40 minutes to work with, and even with my pre-workout , I just could not manage cardio. I walked by the cardio machines and gave them the death stare. I thought to myself "It's time to work the legs. It's going to be leg day." I started with the leg extension machine and got 3 sets of 10 in but really had no desire to be on a machine. Ever since they reorganized the gym it's become a misguided, misdirected array of fitness machines and the set up irks me. I'd rather just be in the weights section, small as ...