Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Day 8: Dare I Run Again?

So, I'm thinking about running the Oakland Hella-Ween 5 miler in October this year. The lure of the ability to run in a tutu while wearing a hot dog hat also is appealing. Costumes? Beer? A short run? Why, Yes Please!

All that is standing in the way is a $40 registration fee and well, my body. Will my knees be able to handle it? Will my hips/back/left ass cheek be able to sustain minimal damage? A year of body bullshit and two surgeries and a car accident really put a crimp in my weight loss journey. I'm hoping to get back on track and I know myself: If I don't have a goal or something to train for, I don't make the time.

You'd think the want, the need, nay, the sheer desire to not hate myself would be enough. It's not. I haven't worked out since Saturday. Granted, I hiked a bunch of steps on Sunday and did a ton of walking and manual labor Monday, but no gym time. I had a full day of work Tuesday and a baseball game to attend that night. Today, working and then I have to drag myself across the Bay to go to the chiro in SF. I won't be home until after 8pm. Going to the gym that late is not an option, as a matter of starvation and safety in these parts prevents me from waiting for a bus at 9pm on unsavory street corners. Sigh.

I should be setting my alarm for 5:45 am. I should be getting out that damn door in the morning by 6 to do a measly 30 minutes of running. I did it before, why can't I kick my own ass to do it again? Why did I have beer last night AND a cheese steak for dinner at the game? How is it possible for a person like me to have zero will power?! Today I'm really trying to dig deep down and pull it out of me.

Breakfast was an egg white scrambled with one egg, with some green peppers and onions and a green juice (cucumber, spinach, celery, carrot, green apple, ginger and lemon). I've had a handful of pistachios for a snack and must maintain dignity at an office lunch. I need to remember to juice and prep more as to not waste my produce. It's counter productive, which is all I seem to be feeling lately.

I just need to remember this.

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